TJH: A Night at the Movies

So, this just happened…

Over the weekend my husband and I saw a couple movies. The first was without incident, but last night’s showing of Labor Day was a completely different story.

We bought our tickets and headed to get some snacks. The guy who took our order was really friendly and smiley. Kevin typically gets an Icee when we go to a movie and yesterday was no different. Here’s how the interaction went down with the cashier (C in this conversation)
K: I would like a small white cherry Icee.
C: Oh, they only come in this size (points to the medium cup).
K: Ok… that’s fine.
Me: (sarcastically) Sorry, you’ll have to take a bigger Icee.
C: (smiles) Your total is $16.95
K: (gives him his card and tells me he has to run to the restroom before the movie)
Me: He’ll actually take a popcorn tub full of white cherry Icee, please.
(Kevin walks off)
C: Ohh, the shade! (Loved this comment, by the way.)
Me: Oh yessss
C: Are you guys related?
Me: Umm, he’s my husband. So I guess we’re related now…

Who asks if two people are related when they are just taking their snack order? We both had our rings on. Odd. Very odd. But I liked him because he used the word ‘shade’.

We headed to our theater and grabbed seats in the front row—you know, the one with the extra legroom. Not the row literally right under the screen. There was a couple sitting behind us who had previously had their feet all up in our seats business, but they moved over a couple seats right after we sat down.

So we get through the previews and into the movie when I notice that the lady behind us is commenting on EVERYTHING going on in the movie. For real, everything. One of the characters grabbed a peach out of a bucket and took a bite, she says, “Not even going to wash it off?” The movie takes place in the summer and one of the characters is wearing a sweater, she says, “She’s wearing a sweater in summer?!” It went on and on. I kept looking back to give her the stink eye and thought she was done…nope.

Toward the end one of the characters starts to write a letter to his father, as he’s writing “dad” on the front of the envelope the lady says, “…writing a letter to his dad.” Then he took it to his dad’s house, which was nicer than his mother’s, she smugly says, “Well, what a perfect little house.”

At this point it was starting to annoy both of us. Kevin even turned around to give her a disapproving look and I flat out sat up, turned around and looked her directly in the eye with a very disapproving look on my face. I included some sighs for emphasis. It didn’t really help. I don’t think she had a clue. I feel bad for her husband. I’m sure he noticed how annoyed we were. Can you imagine how it is at home? I mean, I make comments during movies, but I try to be as quiet as possible—and I definitely talk back to the TV at home, but really…she was out of control.

As we got up to leave I nudged Kevin to thank her for the commentary.

On our way out of the theater Kevin stopped to use the restroom. While I was waiting for him I see a woman coming out of the ladies room heading straight for me. It was the commentator. Was she going to say something to me about my stink eye and sighs? She walks up and says, “Well, how did you like the movie?”

For real?! Did she seriously just ask me how I liked the movie? It took every ounce of restraint for me to not yell at her for making comments during the entire movie. I just said (without smiling), “It was good.” Then she kept on talking to me!

“It wasn’t what I was expecting…” she said.

“Yeah, it was different than I expected.” I replied as I dug out my phone to pretend to check something and distanced myself from her. Finally Kevin came out and we headed out the door. “Can you believe her?! She actually asked me how I liked the movie. Is she crazy?”

Yeah, I’ve memorized her face. We will run the other direction if we see them at a movie in the future.